Since 80 to 90 percent of your day-to-day communication is expressed subconsciously through body language, the ability to read the person’s body language towards you is one thing you must learn, observe and practice. From sitting on a train full of strangers to sitting in a cinema with the person you like, there is always body language going on between people that they are not consciously aware of.
Some people are born naturals and seem to have the ability to always know what to say or do when they are interested in someone. The reason behind this is that their brains have a natural ability to react to the body language the other person is giving them.
These people are usually the so-called "charmers”. People, who are otherwise on the other side of the spectrum, need the knowledge up their sleeves in order to execute such skills. If you can master the ability to read a person’s body language, you have a MAJOR advantage on your hands.
The Eye Contact Test is a very useful tool when it comes to identifying a person that may have an interest in talking to you. You may be out at a party, out at the beach, at a bar, or even on the train on the way home, you can always use this trick to see just who is interested in talking to you, and I guarantee, you will be surprised at the results! Try this next time you are at a party with friends or at
a bar looking for potential friends, or wherever you like: when you spot a person you like, browse around the room then subtly look at their eyes for a moment to make eye contact. When they look back at you making eye contact, quickly look away, look around the room for a second, then glance back to attempt making eye contact a second time.
If they look back and make eye contact with you a second time, they clearly show an interest in you, however this does not yet mean a positive interest. After making eye contact the second time, look away again and pretend you are looking around the room, but keep an eye on how he or she is reacting. Naturally, if they are interested in you, they will be doing something along the lines of brushing their hair with their hands, fixing their shirt/dress, or in some way grooming themselves. This is their subconscious body language saying “I am attracted to you, and I would like you to come talk to me.” Practice this a few times before actually making the move to go talk to someone.
After practicing this a few times, you should have the confidence to be sure who is responding properly, and you will probably even notice yourself brushing your hair with your hands, or whatever it may be, when you make eye contact with people you find attractive!
........Engaging in Conversation........:
Okay, so you have learned the new ability to read the body language of someone of the opposite sex, to determine whether or not they look like they are interested in talking to you. You walk over to the person of interest, and you freeze after “Hello”. Why? A lot of people are a bit shy and they lack the experience when it comes to engaging in conversation with someone of the opposite sex.
When you engage in conversation with a new person, there are a few simple rules to follow at first:
1. Personal space. The ideal amount of body space for the average person is about two to three feet away, so try not to stand or sit too closely to them especially if it is the first time you are talking to this person. If they cross their legs when you sit next to them, usually this is a good sign that you are invading their body space, and their subconscious body language is saying “give me a little bit more space please.”
2. Your body posture / stance. Believe it or not, the way you stand or sit in front of or next to the person you are talking to has a large effect on how comfortable the person of interest is and the way your conversation will end. For example, if you were to knock on a stranger’s door and stand straight on so you are facing directly towards the door, when the person comes to the door, they probably WON’T open it to talk to you, and will feel uncomfortable straight away. Why? Standing
straight on when talking to someone is generally very intimidating. Especially if you are tall, the person of interest may just be turned off straight away if you stand straight on while talking to them.
Instead, you should try a more side on approach. Standing side on and keeping your hands to yourself is a much less intimidating stance to hold while engaging in conversation with someone and is also a much more inviting pose to approach someone so long as you give them their personal space as discussed above.
Just remember, come across confidently, relax, be yourself and you will be a natural teller in no time!